Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
