all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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