U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
