You're so nebulous sometimes
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
