I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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