is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
