I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
