she peed on how many people?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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