I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
