And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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