Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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