Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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