Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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