she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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