i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
