i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
