I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
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I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
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We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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