You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
