Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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