No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
