Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you had me at cake vodka
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
