i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
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