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• (207): View more from Maine

  There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself

  (207): View more from Maine

  OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.

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• (716): View more from New York

  He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (906): View more from Michigan

  Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?

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• (212): View more from New York

  1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (941): View more from Florida

  Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander

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