Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize