very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?