morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We need to rekindle our bromance
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.