He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.