Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket

  (212): View more from New York

  Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......

  (212): View more from New York

  Really

  (941): View more from Florida

  You win

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket (212): Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants...... (212): Really (941): You win http://tfl.nu/2qfe
  Replies (4) Good night (2700) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator. (404): I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer? (706): Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out. http://tfl.nu/p10m
  Replies (29) Good night (1024) Bad night (2180)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first. http://tfl.nu/88zr
  Replies (18) Good night (3656) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace. http://tfl.nu/24s5
  Replies (48) Good night (7205) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining. http://tfl.nu/2itw
  Replies (30) Good night (4096) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!" http://tfl.nu/ttkj
  Replies (99) Good night (27063) Bad night (1627)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now. http://tfl.nu/sf6h
  Replies (4) Good night (999) Bad night (3182)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Its gonna be a symphony of fucks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): Its gonna be a symphony of fucks http://tfl.nu/8ess
  Replies (7) Good night (1764) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it.. http://tfl.nu/d0rc
  Replies (5) Good night (1684) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain? http://tfl.nu/ibwj
  Replies (7) Good night (1046) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls... http://tfl.nu/pef0
  Replies (3) Good night (985) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn http://tfl.nu/f3ez
  Replies (6) Good night (1261) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again http://tfl.nu/3fhf
  Replies (3) Good night (483) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed? http://tfl.nu/3iaa
  Replies (7) Good night (450) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today http://tfl.nu/mlhp
  Replies (1) Good night (420) Bad night (204)

Randomize