Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
