i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!