I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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