You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
