...so i touched it.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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