Your face is a jimmy john
I wish you could order shots online.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
