i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize