I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
