Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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