Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
