This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
