Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
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I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.