Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh