I'm lost and stupid without you.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
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A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine