Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
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She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
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Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill