you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
