A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She's the barista slut.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
