I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
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I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize