True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
