So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
