what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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