Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
