I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
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you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
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You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize