I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
