Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
