even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
