FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So vagazzling was a success
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
