wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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