i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
