so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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