New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
