I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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