Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
