More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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