Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
this just has baby written all over it
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
