did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
