You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize