She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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