so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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