Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
