That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
