I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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