i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
