so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
sarcasm needs its own font
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What a dumb baby whore.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
