For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
