i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
