i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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