One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
